Praying for Grace Read online

  Clark watched as his wife left the room. Once she was out of sight, he turned to us.

  “We lost a little one years ago,” he explained. “Laura still gets weepy about it. We tried to have a baby for so long, but once it finally happened the baby was stillborn.”

  “I’m really sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to upset her.”

  “Ah. It’s not your fault,” said Clark as he leaned back in his chair. He nearly fell over when a shrill scream came from the depths of the house.

  “Clark! Clark!” shouted Laura. “Oh Lord Almighty! Alice!”

  Clark and Gus were both up and out of their seats at the same time, even though Clark had a few years over Gus and wasn’t quite as fit. I ran behind them, headed toward the back bedrooms. The hallways were a bit disorienting and Laura continued to cry out for help. Her voice sounded strained as if she were struggling.

  Too many of us tried to crowd into Alice’s bedroom all at once. Laura was holding onto Alice’s legs, which dangled a couple of feet above the floor, in a feeble attempt to support the girl’s body weight. Gus and Clark rushed forward. Gus pushed the older woman out of the way as he grabbed onto Alice’s lower half and lifted her.

  “You’ll have to cut it, Clark!” he grunted.

  I stood just inside the room, staring up at the young woman who I had only known for a few days. A length of rope hung from a pipe in the ceiling, the other end wrapped around her neck. Her face was swollen and her tongue protruded grossly from her mouth. Her eyes remained open, her eyeballs rolled up toward the ceiling. Her arms hung limply at her sides. Clark pulled a pocket knife from his pants pocket and was already standing on a wooden chair that had been lying on its side nearby.

  “She’s gone,” I stated. When no one said anything, I raised my voice. “Gus, you can let go. She’s gone.”

  He looked at me with sadness in his eyes, and then glanced at Laura, who stood in a corner crying. Finally his eyes settled upward on Alice’s face. His chest heaved with a deep sigh and he slowly let go of her.

  “I’m sorry, Laura. Zoe’s right. She’s been gone for a while,” said Clark.

  “Why?” sobbed Laura. “Why would she do this?”

  I looked at the devastated woman and could almost feel the pain radiating from her. She’d been with both Megan and Alice since this curse had fallen upon the world, and now they were both gone.

  “She just couldn’t take the pain anymore,” whispered Gus.

  Clark stepped down from his perch on the chair. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. We still need to get her down, and you don’t need to see that.”

  From behind me, someone cleared their throat. I turned and saw Hoot standing just outside of the threshold to the room, waiting in the hall.

  “Zoe, I can help in here. Do you want to take Laura to another room?”

  In truth, I didn’t care to watch the dead girl being cut down, so I quietly walked to Laura and took her by the arm. “Let’s go look at that garden?” I whispered.

  Laura was trembling. She went with me willingly. We settled in the kitchen instead of the garden, where she made herself busy setting a kettle of water on the wood burning stove.

  “We’ll have some tea,” she said with great sadness in her voice. “Alice grew the herbs. She loved peppermint the best.”

  “Laura, you sit down. I’ll make the tea,” I said.

  She did as I suggested and took a seat at the old wooden table. The kitchen had a wall with six cubbies, all formed of concrete and bottles, each curtained with a piece of burlap. I peeked through four before finding mugs. I took two out and set one in front of her, and one for myself in the seat beside her.

  “There’s a coffee press above the sink,” she whispered. “It’s what I use for tea. And the tea’s in a canister above the stove.”

  “I got it,” I said softly.

  I dropped several pinches of dried herbs into the bottom of the glass coffee press and poured boiling water on top. Carrying the contraption to the table, I set it down just before taking a seat next to her.

  “I’m so sorry,” I said. “I know you were close to both Alice and her mother.”

  The woman sniffled. “Very. They were both good people.” She chuckled under her breath. “Megan was a bit out of sorts, as I’m sure you noticed. She was so funny, though. Such a good sense of humor. And Alice. Oh, sweet Alice.”

  I pressed the top of the French press down to move the tea leaves to the bottom of the cylinder and poured the hot tea into both mugs.

  “They both seemed really sweet,” I lied. I hadn’t liked Megan at all. She had suggested we leave Abbey behind to die.

  I took a sip of my mint tea and swallowed, enjoying the warmth as it traveled down my throat and into my stomach.

  “I think Abbey and Alice would have become good friends,” I said.

  “Probably.” She sipped at her tea half-heartedly. “We should bury her out back. There’s a boulder she used to sit on and just watch the hills to the west.”

  “I’m sure we could do that.”

  I leaned back and placed a hand on my swollen belly as my baby decided to stretch. When she didn’t settle down and my insides grew excessively warm, I knew that Alice was rising. I reached for Laura’s hand and took it in my own.

  “Laura, I think Alice is turning.”

  She looked at me with sadness. “I hoped it wouldn’t happen,” she whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek. “I know it always does, but I had hoped not for her…”

  “Stay here? You don’t need to see any of this,” I said firmly. “I’ll go see if they need any help.”

  I hadn’t heard any commotion or struggling, but still felt my baby pummeling me from the inside out. I got up and walked down the tunnel-like hallway and into Alice’s room. She was lying on the floor on top of a bed sheet. Hoot and Gus were wrapping the edges of the sheet around her in preparation for carrying her out of the house. The loop of rope had been removed from her neck, but her face and tongue were still swollen. Her arms had been folded across her chest. A small amount of blood pooled beneath her head. She was still as death itself.

  “You guys need to get back,” I said in confusion. “She’s turning.”

  “No darlin’. We took care of that so she won’t wake up.”

  “I can feel her,” I said. I could feel sweat beading on my forehead.

  “I promise, I did it myself,” said Gus.

  My belly actually jumped from our baby protesting the nearby living dead.

  “If it’s not her, there’s one nearby,” I said.

  “It’s ok, I promise they can’t get through these walls.”

  “What about that front window?” asked Hoot, being prudent.

  Clark shook his head side to side. “Iron bars.”

  I sighed, feeling slight relief.

  “Laura’s in the kitchen. She wants to bury Alice in back by a boulder she liked.”

  “We can take care of it,” said Gus. “You look a little peaked. You should go lay down for a bit.”

  I nodded, grateful for the suggestion. My belly tightened and I felt sick to my stomach. “I’ll let Laura know you’re going to bury her.”

  Gus stepped toward me and kissed me on the cheek. “Mind peeking in at Abbey on your way? Let Danny know what’s happened and that I’ll be in with another dose of medicine in about an hour?”

  “Sure. He must be out cold, sleeping through all the noise in here,” I said. “Between Laura yelling and taking Alice’s body down.”

  “He’s gonna get sick himself if he doesn’t get some decent sleep,” said Hoot. “If he’s sleeping just leave him be.”

  “Sure.”

  I left the room without saying anymore, anxious to get back to the family room to get off of my feet for a while. As I curved to the left with the wall, I first heard the sounds. My stomach felt like it dropped and my skin went cold. I knew that sound all too well. I had heard it far too many times in the past months. I forced myself to step forw
ard, and when I did the smell of fresh blood mixed with the stench of human bowels that had been torn open. I covered my mouth with my hand in a feeble attempt to keep myself from gagging. I could see partly through the entryway to the room where Danny and Abbey were resting. I could see her bent over him on the floor, her braids hanging over her shoulders as she used her teeth to tear flesh from his gut. I could hear her chewing and snarling as she gorged. I felt faint and the hallway spun. I did the only thing I could think of, and called to Gus silently, using my mind. I doubted he’d hear me, but prayed it would work. Abbey hadn’t seen me yet, but I knew it wouldn’t be long until she turned her attention from Danny’s already cooling corpse to the living.

  I watched Abbey feed off of Danny, unable to look away. I breathed in and I breathed out. No one was coming to help me. I could hear the men in the other room as they struggled to move Alice’s limp body from the bedroom into the narrow hallway. Abbey heard it too, and whipped her head around. She was no longer the teenager whom I had grown to love as a little sister. Her eyes were not yet clouded in death, but her skin was sickly pale and her mouth and chin covered in blood. She wore a cream colored nightgown that Laura had provided, which was also covered in crimson and chunks of flesh. A wave of nausea hit me and I winced, doubling over in pain.

  “Zoe?” called Gus as Abbey began awkwardly walking toward me.

  “Gus…” I moaned, unable to say anything else. I felt a gush of warm flow down my legs. “No, no, no, no, no,” I groaned.

  My only saving grace was that the creature coming at me was slow.

  “Fuck!” yelled Gus.

  I lowered myself onto the hard ground, unable to stay upright from the pain that ripped through my body.

  “Hoot, Clark, I fucking need you now!” screamed Gus.

  I was sure I heard Laura’s voice mixed in with those of the men.

  My companions rushed past me. I kept my eyes closed and listened, without choice, to the sounds of struggling between the living and the dead.

  “Can you get up?” asked Gus. I hadn’t realized that he was kneeling beside me.

  Another pain took over my core and I shook my head side-to-side. It was hard to take a breath, let alone speak.

  “Bring her into the family room,” urged Laura.

  “Fuck, watch out Clark!” yelled Hoot.

  A deep snarl echoed through the house. I knew it was Danny. A deafening gunshot rang out without warning. I still felt overheated, but my baby began to calm. My ears were ringing from the gun firing, but I could make out muffled voices.

  “Is she hurt?” and “Did she come into contact with them?”

  Eventually the pain eased and I opened my eyes. Gus was right in front of me, and I focused on his face.

  “Talk to me, Zoe. Where’s it hurting?”

  “Everywhere,” I panted.

  “Did she hurt you?”

  “Abbey?” I winced. “No.”

  “Let’s get you to the family room,” he said softly. “Can you stand?”

  “I’ll try.”

  I was exhausted, and still aching, but I took Gus’ hand and tried to pull myself up. Before getting all the way off the ground, another pain hit me.

  “Son of a bitch!” I cried out. “Son of a fucking asshole bitch!”

  I doubled over again and bit my lip. The taste of blood filled my mouth. There wasn’t a single part of me that didn’t feel pain at that moment.

  “Need a hand?” It was Hoot’s voice.

  “Just get the fold out bed ready? I’ll carry her in,” said Gus. His voice wasn’t as calm as usual.

  “What’s wrong with her?” asked Clark.

  “Sounds like labor,” said Laura.

  I wanted everyone but Gus to go away. I must have said the words aloud, because everyone quieted.

  “It’s too soon,” I said through gritted teeth. “Gus, don’t let this happen again,” I begged.

  “It’s ok, darlin’. I’ll get you into bed and check you over.”

  He lifted me in his arms and cradled me close.

  CHAPTER 17

  Laying on the hide-a-bed was torture. No matter how I positioned myself, it hurt. Laura and Hoot had drawn the covers back before Gus carried me in. She thoughtfully asked Hoot and Clark to wait in the other room to afford me some privacy. I was too miserable to really care who saw me. Eventually I situated myself on my left side, which hurt almost as much as any other position I tried.

  “Darlin’, I need you on your back,” said Gus.

  “I can’t,” I cried. “Make it stop,” I moaned as I turned my face into the pillow under my head.

  “Zoe, stop. You have to listen to me, babe,” said Gus firmly.

  I looked at his face and tried to focus on his voice.

  “It hurts so bad, Gus.”

  “I know honey, but you have to let me take a look. Can you do that?”

  I started to shake my head side to side, and he placed his palms on either side of my face.

  “I bet Laura will hold your hand real tight, would that help?”

  I looked over, having forgotten for a moment that the older woman was beside me. She looked very worried.

  “Ok,” I managed to stammer out.

  She did as Gus suggested and held onto my hand firmly. Her skin was softer than it appeared, but her hand felt bony. Gus placed his hands on my belly, which oddly eased the pain. I took a deep breath, taking advantage of the brief reprieve.

  “Baby’s moving,” whispered Gus. “That’s a good sign.”

  “It feels better when you’re touching me,” I said so quietly that I wasn’t sure I had actually spoken.

  “Let’s turn you onto your back. Just for a minute, ok?”

  I nodded. “Just for a minute.”

  I needed to sleep. Gus took his hands from my belly and the pain began to rise inside of me.

  “Don’t let go,” I whispered.

  Laura and Gus both helped me roll off of my side and onto my back.

  “Babe, do they feel like contractions?” he asked me.

  “No,” I huffed. “It feels like someone’s ripping my ribs apart.”

  “Laura, do you have any pain medication here?”

  “Just Tylenol. Nothing stronger.”

  “Do you mind getting a couple?”

  “Sure. Anything you need.”

  She stood and left the two of us alone in the room.

  “I think I’m dying,” I groaned.

  “Zoe, I need to check your cervix.”

  “It hurts too much.”

  “I’ll be quick, I promise.”

  He slid my pants down my legs and slipped his fingers inside of me. I held my breath while he did his exam, trying my hardest to not yell from the pain.

  “I need to get back onto my side,” I cried out.

  “Ok baby, go ahead.”

  I rolled over and gripped my pillow hard as another wave of pain hit me.

  “You’re dilated, hun. Maybe half way.”

  “You have to stop it. Please? Stop it…” I begged him. “Pease just make it stop. She can’t come yet.”

  “Zoe, open your eyes and look at me.”

  I forced my eyes open and looked into his eyes.

  “There’s nothing I can do, Angel. The baby’s coming.”

  “No,” I cried.

  He wiped a tear away from my cheek.

  “We don’t know what to expect. She could be perfectly fine,” he tried to soothe my fears.

  “Nothing in this world is ‘perfectly fine’,” I answered.

  “How’s she doing?” asked Laura, who returned with Tylenol.

  “Not too great,” he answered truthfully.

  “I brought some Tylenol and a cool cloth,” said the woman.

  “Thank you,” said Gus.

  “Is there anything else I can do?”

  “We could use some towels.”

  “I’ll be right back with some.”

  “Also a pair of scissors and somethi
ng clean to tie the cord.”

  “I have some kitchen twine. Will that be ok?”

  “Should be,” he answered. “Once she’s closer we’ll need some warm water.”

  “I’ll gather things up and set them on the end table. Hoot and Clark are busy in the back of the house. Do you want me to stay in here for a bit?”

  Gus cleared his throat. “Maybe just stay within ear shot?”

  “You got it,” said Laura.

  ***

  Time seemed to pass excessively slowly. Gus stayed by my side, which eased the pain. It was as if the baby inside of me knew that her father was near. I slept for brief periods when the pain eased. Gus kept the cold washcloth refreshed and on my forehead. I knew that the bodies of Alice, Danny, and Abbey were being taken care of when Clark came into the room and quietly asked if he could borrow Laura to keep watch while they dug graves. After a brief conversation, Laura agreed to let the men burn all three bodies. Their ashes would be mixed and spread in the hills that Alice had loved to look at. I only knew that it was dusk when Clark announced they were ready to start the fire. Hoot, Clark, and Laura went outside to say good-bye to our friends, leaving me and Gus alone.

  “When someone beloved dies, so too is someone beloved born,” I mumbled as another wave of pain claimed my body.

  “What, darlin’?” asked Gus as he tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear.

  “Something my father used to say. When someone beloved dies and leaves us, so too is someone beloved born.”

  “That’s beautiful. Tell me about your father.”

  “His name was Frank. He was from the Tulalip Tribe. He loved his people and he loved life. I have his brown eyes.” I had to stop to breathe through a contraction.

  “I’m gonna check you again, baby,” whispered Gus.

  “I think it’s almost time,” I said as I caught my breath.

  As he examined me, my thoughts drifted to our old friend Louisa. Memories of her delivery of baby Julio were still too fresh in my mind. He had been born far too early. They had both lived for only minutes after he was born, but the love between them was incredible.

  “Looks like you’re right. Her head’s right there.”

  “I’m scared,” I whispered.