Grace Lost Read online

  Chapter 8

   

  When I woke, the cabin was quiet and I was alone in the bedroom.  I was afraid to call out for anyone so instead quietly got out of bed and walked to the hallway.  I listened and heard Boggs and Emilie talking softly from downstairs.  I walked to the bathroom where I found some toothpaste and used my finger to scrub my teeth.  For the first time in many days, I looked at my reflection in the mirror.  My eyes seemed different.  If it’s true that the eyes are the window to the soul, then my soul had been forever changed since the dead had risen.  My face looked thinner than usual.  I was pale.  I wasn’t very impressed with myself.  I stepped to the claw foot tub I had admired the day before and saw that the dirty clothes were gone.  I turned the old fashioned faucet on.  It was the type that spewed cold and hot water separately, forming two streams of water.  I had only seen a faucet like it once before, at a very old hotel in the San Juan Islands of Puget Sound.  While the bath drew, I stepped back to the mirror and took my oversized flannel shirt off.  I stared at myself in the silvered glass, wondering how I looked compared to other women.  I had always thought my shoulders were too wide, my breasts too small, and my feet too large.  My skin had always been pale, my hair an unremarkable medium blonde, and my features overall rather boring.  For the briefest of moments I wondered what I’d look like if I was one of them.  I shook the image of a living-dead-Zoe out of my mind as quickly as possible.  I wrapped my hair around itself near the top of my head and secured it loosely with a hair band I had kept around my wrist. 

  Done critiquing myself, I stepped to the bathtub and tested the water with my hand.  It was hot, almost too much so, but I stepped in and lowered myself below the water line.   It burned my hip, and I imagined that the pain of the hot water could only help the wound to heal.  I realized I had forgotten to grab the Hibiclens that Gus had suggested I use to wash my hip.

  There was a light knock on the door.  “Zoe?” called Emilie. “Can I come in?”

  “Sure, Em,” I called back.  “It’s unlocked.”

  Emilie opened the door halfway and crept in.  She was holding my undergarments that I had left in the bathtub.  “I hand washed these.  Hope you don’t mind?”

  I smiled.  “Not at all, you’re awesome.  Thanks.”

  “I washed everything and set it all by the fire to dry, but the heavier stuff’s still damp,” she said followed by a soft smile.

  “Oh, hey, can you hand me that cleaner Gus wants me to use?  It’s next to the sink.”

  She turned and picked up the little blue bottle and handed it to me.  “Want me to look at your hip?” she asked.

  I turned on my side just a bit, raising the wound on my hip just out of the water.  “Think it looks any better?” I asked. 

  “Hmm, there’s a worm coming out of it,” she said then started laughing.

  “Very funny,” I said with a snicker.

  “Seriously, there’s no worm and it looks a little less swollen,” she said.  “I’ll grab a wash cloth and let you do the scrubbing.  I don’t want to hurt you.”  She walked to a cabinet located behind the door and found a faded pink rag, which she tossed to me.  “Just holler if you need anything else, ok?” she said before leaving the room.

  I poured some of the red soap from the bottle onto the washcloth and gently scrubbed my hip, wincing from the pain.  I found a bottle of bubble bath on the floor behind the tub and added some to the water.  I enjoyed the floral scent that surrounded me. After several minutes of soaking, I stepped out and wrapped myself in a towel.  I found a brush in a drawer and decided to not care who else had used it.  I detangled my hair and wove it into a braid that wrapped around my left shoulder, resting on my chest.  Once I was dry, I shimmied into my clean blue panties and bra and dabbed some Neosporin on my hip.  Like Emilie had said, it wasn’t as swollen and seemed to be healing except for some faint green streaks spreading outward.  I’d need to remember to ask Gus about that.  I went to put my flannel shirt back on over my underwear, but it was gone.  Funny, Emilie I thought to myself.   I opened the bathroom door and peeked out. Seeing the coast was clear, I tiptoed across the hall to my room and walked in, shutting the door quickly. I sensed someone watching me and turned to see Boggs lying on the bed, his head propped on the pillows.  He had his hands behind his head and a large grin on his face.

  “I’ve always loved you in blue,” he said, still smiling.

  I felt my cheeks warm, and stood there awkwardly.  “Thanks,” I whispered. 

  His smile faded and his gaze became intense as he watched me turn to walk toward the armoire in search of clothes.  “You look like Heaven itself,” he whispered. I could feel him drinking me in with his eyes.  I heard him shift his weight on the bed as I walked to the large cabinet.  I opened the doors and looked at the various items hanging within.  Listening to his footsteps approach, I was too distracted to focus on choosing something to wear.  I concentrated on just breathing.  I could sense him close behind me.  “You smell like Heaven,” he breathed softly against the skin of my bare back.   He used his arms to pull me around to face him, and kissed me deeply.  “You taste like Heaven,” he mumbled as he moved his mouth to my neck and brushed his lips lightly against my skin, savoring me.  He pulled me close, and I allowed my body to relax, not resisting this time.  He moved his mouth back to my lips and kissed me with passion I had never known before.  I wrapped my arms around him and found myself trying to explore his body through his clothes.  He broke our embrace and lifted his shirt over his head, then lifted me into his arms and carried me to the bed.  He set me down on the mattress and gently lowered himself on top of me.  My breathing quickened and I used both of my palms to explore his bare chest, tracing the lines of his tattoo.  I felt his hips pressing against me longingly and my body responded in kind, causing him to groan loudly.  He moved to my ear, his tongue tracing its outline. The room disappeared along with the rest of the world, and all that was left was me and the man I had known all of my life.  He latched onto my neck with his mouth, tasting my skin with his tongue. He moved his mouth to my earlobe again and his hands were suddenly on my back fighting with the hooks of my bra strap. He whispered softly into my ear, “are you sure you want this?”  His hands paused while he waited for my reply.  I nodded against his cheek, and he slipped my bra down my arms.  My fear was leaving me as our bodies took over.  My nipples were erect as he cupped my breasts in his large hands, taking me in with all of his senses.  I hadn’t realized a tear had fallen down my cheek until he wiped it away with his thumb.

   “I can stop, Zo,” he said with tenderness in his voice.

   “I’m just scared…I’ve never done this before….” I whispered.  “Don’t stop, Boggs,” I said, almost begging.

   “Zoe, as long as I live I promise I won’t hurt you.”  He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me deeply again.  With a free hand he sought out my panties.  He slid his hand underneath, still kissing me.  He caressed me gently, twisting his fingers through my pubic hair teasingly.  I found myself responding by opening my legs to him, wanting more.  It caused him to moan quietly and search deeper with his fingers.  I felt a brief twinge as his fingers entered me and gasped quietly, pulling my hips away slightly.  My reaction seemed to excite Boggs even more and his fingers searched for me almost frantically.  I bit my lip while he pulled my panties down over my knees and finally my feet.  He kissed my left ankle, then my knee, and smelled my inner thigh until he got to the place he craved the most.  He kissed me gently there, and spoke quietly against me.  “Don’t be scared, Zoe.”  I felt his tongue enter me, searching wildly.  I brought my hips up, inviting him to continue pleasuring me.  As his tongue searched deeper and his mouth sucked wildly, I moved my hands to the top of his head and gently grabbed his hair.  My breathing quickened and I pleasantly felt myself losing control.

  He moved up toward me, mirroring my body with his own.  He unzipped his jeans
with one hand while holding his weight with the other.  He met my eyes with his own, then leaned down and kissed me hard.  He whispered softly into my ear.  “Are you sure you want me to do this?”

  I nodded and whispered back, “yes.”

  I spread my legs and felt him press into me.  His erection was sliding between my legs, searching for entry.   My breathing was heavy, and my hips searching longingly for him in return.  His manliness was hot as it finally found its target and entered me deeply.  He started gently by thrusting in short strokes. 

  I put my hands on his biceps and squeezed firmly.

  His voice was breathy.  “Does that feel ok?”  He grunted lightly after he said it.

  I gripped his arms harder and answered quietly.  “More than ok.”  My hips continue to thrust against him in eagerness.

  He looked at me tenderly and I met his eyes in return.  He started making love to me with long, deep thrusts.  My grip on his arms tightened more, which seemed to drive him wild.   He never took his eyes off of me.  The headboard began thumping against the wall as our demonstration of love and passion escalated.  Boggs finally closed his eyes as he let out a long intense moan and I felt a flush of warmth mix with my own rippling pleasure where our bodies were joined.

  As Boggs collapsed onto me, I fought to catch my breath.  He rolled off and we lay next to each other until we regained ourselves.  He stroked my hair, and kissed me lovingly.  “I love you,” he whispered.

   

  We joined the others downstairs at the kitchen table where they had set out a breakfast of dry cereal.  I sat down, now wearing a pair of baggy sweat pants and a t-shirt I had found in the armoire.

  Emilie had just shoved a handful of cereal into her mouth and spoke when she was almost done chewing.  “You guys sounded like you had fun!”  Gus nudged her with his arm, making her choke slightly.

  I blushed and Boggs grinned, making my cheeks redden even more.  Gus was kind enough to change the topic, while Emilie worked to contain her smile.

  “We need to board up the outside of the windows today,” said Gus. 

  “Why?” I asked.

  Gus took a deep breath.  “We need to worry about two things now.  The dead and the living.  If survivors come by and see we’re boarded up on the inside it’d be a dead giveaway. Pardon the pun.  If it’s boarded up on the outside it’ll look more like a vacant building.  At least it might buy us some time.”

  Emilie looked at him quizzically.  “But don’t we want to help survivors?”

  Boggs answered.  “Not everyone is going to be looking for help.  Some will be looking to take from us, or to hurt us.”

  “I suggest we board up the exterior main floor windows today, but just leave the upstairs drapes pulled shut.  That way we can use the upper windows if needed.  Extra light, defense, or escape,” Gus advised.  “We should assume that anyone and everyone that might happen upon us is an enemy until we know otherwise. We need to stock up on supplies within the next few days. Infrastructure is likely already collapsing.  We aren’t sure just how widespread this is, so we should assume it’s everywhere and that this is just how things are now.”   We all listened intently to the ex-military man. “Eventually roads will become impassable, we’ll be out of fuel for the cabin, and even food and supplies we might scavenge will be harder to come by.  We also need to work at getting the car closer to the house.”

  “Shouldn’t we just leave the car?” asked Emilie.

  Gus shook his head.  “We should never leave anything if we can help it.  It’s full of supplies but can also be torn down and used for tools.”

  Boggs spoke up.  “So what’s first?”

  Gus looked thoughtful.  “Today we secure the place better, and scout out the surrounding area.  Today or tomorrow we work at getting the SUV closer, or at least getting our supplies from inside it.  Eventually we’ll add more security here at the cabin.  A safe room of sorts.”

  I was bringing a spoonful of Cheerios to my mouth when I heard a shrill scream.  I froze, dropping the spoon to the table with a clatter.  My three companions looked at me.  I didn’t understand why they were just looking at me instead of reacting to the scream from outside.

  “Zoe? What’s wrong?”  Boggs asked with concern in his voice.

  I looked at him, my eyes wide, but didn’t speak.

  “Zoe, what is it?  You’re trembling,” said Emilie as she stood from her seat.

  The hairs on my arms and neck were standing on end.  I heard the scream again.  No one else seemed to hear it.  “We have to get to the attic,” I said as I stood from my seat at the table, knocking my chair over.  My heart was racing, and my palms were sweaty.

  “Zoe?” asked Gus sternly.  “What’s wrong, darlin’?” 

  “Don’t you hear her?”  I asked.  My voice was full of panic.

  “Hear who, Zoe?” asked Boggs, now standing beside me.

  By the time I heard the scream for the third time, I realized it was within my own head.  I covered my ears with my hands, willing it to stop.  “God, no,” I moaned.  “It’s one of them.  I can hear it in my head…the screaming.”

  Gus was on my other side by now, and took my face in his hands.  “Zoe.”  His voice was full of authority.  “Look at me, Zoe.”  He looked into my eyes, studying me.  “There’s no screaming.”

  My breathing had quickened, and I was shaking.  “Listen to me, please,” I begged.  “We have to get to the attic.”   Tears were starting to fall down my cheeks.   I turned to face Boggs.

  “Zoe, Honey, what’s wrong?” asked Boggs.  “Gus?  Is her fever back?”  I heard Boggs asking the questions but it was overpowered by a fourth scream in my head.

  “No, she doesn’t feel hot,” replied Gus. 

  “Shhhh!” Interrupted Emilie sharply.  “Listen!”

  Gus had his hands on my shoulders, and everyone stopped to listen.

  “Do you hear it?” asked the redhead.  “It’s faint, but I can hear it.”

  “Ya,” said Gus as he looked back at me.  His face held an expression of unease as he studied me.  “I do.  Boggs, grab your gun.  Now.”  He didn’t break his focus on me until he was done speaking.

  Within moments Gus and Boggs both had their firearms readied.  Boggs walked to the boarded up kitchen window, which he had cleverly fashioned so a small corner could be turned back for easy viewing of the grounds around the cabin.  Gus went to the front door, which also had a small opening for surveillance.  

  “I don’t see anything on my side,” said Boggs.

  “Me either,” answered Gus.

  Emilie was standing beside me, holding my right hand in both of hers.  The scream came once again, inhuman and ear-piercing.  This time it wasn’t only inside my head.  I felt Emilie’s hands tighten on mine and knew she had heard it too.

  “I see it,” said Gus flatly.  “Coming out of the trees behind the shed.”

  “That’s out of my view,” said Boggs.

  “It’s slow.  Really slow.  I only see one.”  Gus paused, and we all waited for him to continue.  “I suggest we go out and take care of it.”

  “Are you crazy?” squealed Emilie.  “Why?  When we can shoot it from here?”  Her voice had lowered to a strained whisper.

  Gus answered her.  “It’s moving so slowly I think we can walk right up to it, Emilie.  If we can kill it without the noise of the guns, even better.”

  “No,” I whispered, almost inaudibly.

  “Zoe?”  Boggs had moved from the kitchen window and was walking toward me.  “What do you mean ‘no’? ”

  I blinked and looked at him.  “No.  You can’t go out.  It’s a trap.”

  “Zoe, what the fuck are you talking about?”  Gus sounded annoyed with me.

  “I don’t know exactly.  Don’t get angry with me!”  I was getting irritated, along with confused, by what was going on in my head.  My hip was throbbing and I felt
sick to my stomach.

  “Zo, just tell us what’s going on.”  Boggs was in front of me, looking me in the eyes.  “No one is angry.”

  “There’s not just one.  She’s just the bait.”

  Gus left his position at the front door and was behind Boggs now, looking down at me.  “How do you know it’s a ‘she’?  Zoe?” 

  “The creature you saw, the slow one.  She’s bait.  There’s two more circling out back, waiting for us to come out.  They’re very different than the slow one you saw.  I don’t know how I know.  I just do.”  I started crying softly

  Gus and Boggs looked at each other.  Emilie took a step back from me and whispered “shit.”

  “We need to listen to her,” was all Boggs said.

  Gus looked thoughtful for several long moments.  My head spun with fragments of thoughts that were not my own.  Thoughts that didn’t make sense.  I knew how badly the creatures outside wanted us.  How badly they craved our flesh. I fought to keep vomit from coming up my throat.

  “All they want to do is eat us,” I moaned.  Boggs wrapped his arms around me.  “I can feel how much they want to tear us apart and eat our flesh.”

  “Zoe.  I have no idea what’s going on, but I need you to tell me where they are.  And are you sure there’s only two others?”  Gus looked ready to fight.

  I nodded.  “There’s the two behind the cabin.  In the woods, I think.  They’re different than the one you saw.  They sent her out to draw us out.”  I looked up at Gus.  “They know we’re in here.”

  He looked down, deep in thought.  “Since they’ve set a trap we need to play along.  I’m headed out front to be bait of our own.”

  “No, Gus, you can’t!” cried Emilie.  “Absolutely not!”

  Gus looked at Emilie.  “We have no choice, darlin’.  I can kill the slow one with a spear. It’ll draw the other two out, and I’ll need you and Boggs ready at the upstairs windows.  You’ll need to shoot the two Zoe’s talking about.”

  “Fuck, Gus,” said Boggs.  “I think it’d be better if I come out with you and Emilie can shoot from upstairs.”

  “I disagree, Brother.  We need to make sure one of us stays with the girls.  I don’t want them left alone, just in case this goes bad.”

  Boggs hung his head.  “Ya, ok.  Emilie, I’ll need you to come upstairs with me before Gus heads out.  Zoe, are you listening?” asked Boggs.

  I looked up, my vision blurred from tears.  “Yes.”

  “Can you watch from our bedroom window, let me and Emilie know what’s going on out front while we’re positioned as snipers in the back two bedrooms?”

  “Ya, ok.”

  “Head upstairs and pull down the ladder to the attic.  Use it if the creatures breach the cabin,” said Gus.  “And put a couple spears up there, in the attic, just in case you get stuck up there.”

  The dead woman out front wailed again.  It echoed in my head.

  “They’re somehow telling her to make a lot of noise,” I said.  “We have to hurry.  They suspect something’s up.”  The realization that some of the creatures were capable of thought and communication terrified me.

  “Ok, go.  Now,” instructed Gus.  “Emilie, you take whichever of the fuckers is closest and Boggs you aim for the farthest,” he called back as we began ascending the stairs to the second floor.

  Boggs pulled the attic ladder down and scrambled up with four of the homemade spears.  Without speaking, we all went to different bedrooms as planned and got into position.  I watched the front of the property.  The slow female zombie was standing beside the shed, swaying jerkily.  Her mouth opened from time to time and I could hear her moans and whimpers within my head.  I could somehow sense that she was hungry, more so than she had ever been while alive.  It was saddening and sickening at the same time.  I was aware that Gus was approaching her before he was in my own line of sight, somehow seeing through her eyes.

  “He’s outside,” I said loud enough for Boggs and Emilie to hear.  “He’s approaching her.”  I could sense the excitement of the other two zombies that were behind the house.  “The other two know he’s there.  They’ll be coming out of the woods soon.”

  Gus approached the sluggish zombie, who was now also walking toward him with a shuffling but purposeful gait.  She was close enough now that I could see braces that she wore on her legs.  Her flesh was in an advanced state of decay with areas of exposed bone where the braces had rubbed.  Gus held the spear in one hand, and had used his free arm to cover his nose and mouth.  The zombie raised her skeletal arms in anticipation of grabbing onto a meal.  Gus raised his free arm and brought the spear down hard, lodging it into the creature’s head.  It crumpled to the ground in a heap.  Gus used his booted foot to put pressure against the creature’s neck and jaw while he pulled the spear from its head. 

  “They’re coming,” I said simply.  “They want Gus.”

  I heard Boggs mumble from the other room, but was unable to make out what he said.   The desire swimming in my own mind, yet not belonging to me, was maddening.  It made concentrating difficult.

  I heard the Kahr fire, and Emilie said excitedly, “got it!”

  The shotgun rang out next, followed by Boggs yelling.  “Fucking A, I missed!  Oh God no!  It’s headed around front!”

  I already knew the last remaining creature was running toward our friend out front.  I had known seconds before Boggs had announced it.  I watched helplessly from my perch in the upper window as a streak ran across the yard toward the cowboy.  I put my palms on the cool glass of the window, unsuccessfully willing time to slow.   When the zombie collided with him, Gus landed hard on his back on the ground.  The spear was knocked from his grip.  The speed with which the creature had run was astonishing.  Gus fought for ground by holding the monster away from him for as long as he could.  The zombie’s snapping jaws threatened to consume him. 

  I hadn’t heard Boggs run up behind me.  My mind was filled with the absolute desire emanating from the creature.  The next shotgun blast was deafening.  The glass from the window shattered, and splinters landed across my.  Once I was able to open my eyes, I looked out the now broken window and saw the creature draped over Gus’ body.  The cowboy hefted it off of himself and quickly rolled away.  I heard Emilie run down the stairs, followed by Boggs.  My mind was clearer now, but held a remnant of foreign thought.  I sensed pain, and above that pain the constant hunger and desire for flesh.  I realized that not all of the creatures were gone.  One was laying in misery both from a wound, as well as an unrelenting desire to consume.  Sensing the excitement of the creature as Boggs and Emilie ran into the yard to help Gus, I forced myself onto my feet and ran down the stairs to warn them.

  By the time I climbed through the window above the kitchen and rounded the corner of the cabin, I saw Gus on his hands and knees vomiting violently.  The smell from the zombies was nauseating, to say the least.  Emilie was at Gus’ side, trying to console him. 

  “Get back!” I yelled.  “Boggs!  It’s not dead!”

  Gus and Emilie both looked up at me, eyes wide.  Gus had vomit dripping from his chin and splattered on his shirt.  He realized what I meant before Emilie did, and used his arms to shove her away from him.  Boggs was closest to them, and had already aimed the shotgun at the fallen zombie.

  “Get down!” yelled Boggs shrilly.

  As Gus dropped to the ground, I could see the fallen zombie had already perching for another attack.  Boggs’ shot from our bedroom window hadn’t been lethal.  Another blast from the shotgun sounded and the head of the zombie was fatally thrown backward, separated from the rest of its decomposed body.

  Silence followed, aside from the ringing in my ears.  My head was finally free of foreign thoughts and desires. 

  Boggs kept his shotgun raised, and then spoke.  “Emilie, you need to stand up and walk toward Zoe.”

  The redhead looked down at Gus, who was kneelin
g.  “Do it, Em,” said Gus. 

  “No,” said Emilie. 

  Gus nodded his head at her.  “You have to, Em.  We all know the routine.”

  Emilie looked at me.  I held an arm out toward her, encouraging her to come to me, which she did hesitantly.

  Gus stood, appearing slightly out of breath from the struggle he had just been through with the corpse.  He held his arms out to his sides.  “Zoe, can you take Emilie inside please?” asked Gus.

  I took Emilie’s hand in mine and stepped toward the side of the cabin.  I could feel her shaking.  “No, Gus, we’re all in this together,” I said.  Her eyes were locked on Gus.

  “Fair enough,” he answered.  “Boggs, I’m pretty sure I didn’t get bit.  I’m taking my shirt off.”  He had thankfully traded his too-small women’s t-shirt for a button-up flannel that morning.  He unbuttoned it, and slid it down his arms.  Crumpling it up, he used it to wipe his chin and mouth.  He pulled his sleeveless undershirt off next.  His breathing had slowed and he did a slow three hundred and sixty degree turn.  It was difficult to ignore his six-pack abs while watching for any signs of bites.  “See anything?” he asked.

  “So far so good,” answered Boggs, who had lowered the shotgun slightly.

  Gus undid his belt and opened the fly of his jeans, then slid them down.  I looked down at my feet, embarrassed. 

  “All clear,” announced Boggs.

  After a couple of minutes, Emilie whispered to me.  “You can look now.”

  Gus walked over to us, and wrapped his arms around Emilie.  “It’s ok,” he whispered to soothe her.  “It’s going to be ok.”  He looked over at me, unsmiling but not unkind.  I knew he had many questions.  I knew I had no answers.